July 7, 2025
Many people struggle with the persistent thought: “I’m not good enough.” For individuals raised in South Asian cultures, this inner narrative can feel especially powerful and deeply rooted. A more hierarchical, obedience-focused parental style is common in South Asian household which are likely to affect self-esteem, interpersonal relationships, career choices, and overall emotional well-being. This blog explores how South Asian cultural dynamics may contribute to feelings of inadequacy and how evidence-based therapeutic approaches can help individuals challenge and transform these thoughts.
The Roots of “Not Good Enough” in South Asian Culture
South Asian culture is rich, diverse, and rooted in values like family honor, academic success, duty, and collectivism. While these values offer strength and belonging, they may also contribute to internalized pressure and self-doubt.
1. High Parental Expectations
Studies have found that children of South Asian immigrant families often experience strong parental expectations related to academic success, career paths and traditional gender roles. A study published in Asian American Journal of Psychology (2013) found that perceived parental pressure was significantly linked to increased psychological distress among South Asian immigrant college students. When success is narrowly defined, children may internalize a sense of failure or not feeling “good enough” if they don’t meet those specific standards. Children may internalize: “My parents sacrificed so much; if I don’t do well, I’ve failed them.”
2. Shame and Social Comparison
South Asian families often function as part of a larger community network where social comparison and family reputation can heavily influence self-worth. Children are often compared to siblings, cousins or peers. This can make personal failures (real or perceived) feel like moral shortcomings, not just individual mistakes, leading to harsh self-judgment and conditional self-worth.
3. Silence Around Mental Health
Mental health isn’t openly talked about in many South Asian communities. Emotional expression is often minimized, and seeking help may be viewed as weakness or “airing dirty laundry.” Without open conversations about feelings, many individuals suppress their struggles and develop harsh internal narratives, believing they’re alone in their pain.
Challenging the “Not Good Enough” Thought: Evidence-Based Approaches
Overcoming these internalized beliefs takes time, reflection, and often, the support of therapy can be beneficial. The following approaches have proven effective:
1. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
CBT can be helpful in identifying and challenging distorted thoughts and reframe them into healthier and positive thoughts. The core belief of “I’m not good enough” can be reframed by identifying evidence to the contrary and cultivating more balanced self-talk. A meta-analysis in Psychological Bulletin (2020) concluded CBT significantly reduces self-critical thoughts and improves self-esteem across diverse populations.
2. Self-Compassion Practices
Kristin Neff’s research on self-compassion shows that treating oneself with kindness in moments of struggle is more motivating and healing than self-criticism. Instead of saying “I failed,” try “I’m human, and it’s okay to struggle.” This subtle shift reduces shame and builds emotional resilience.
3. Culturally Responsive Therapy
Culturally attuned therapy acknowledges the unique experiences of South Asian individuals. It creates space to explore how intergenerational beliefs, family roles, and community dynamics shape identity and self-worth. Exploring the origin of internalized messages (e.g., “success equals worth”) and helping clients redefine success based on their values.
Healing Begins With Awareness
If you’ve been carrying the weight of “not good enough”, know that you’re not alone—and that these thoughts are not facts. Many of us have inherited silent scripts rooted in culture, family, and unspoken expectations.
But with compassionate reflection and support, you can rewrite those narratives. Therapy can be a powerful space to unpack cultural messages, reclaim your voice, and move toward self-acceptance and emotional freedom.
At Soul Immersion Psychotherapy, we offer a culturally sensitive, client-centered approach to help South Asian individuals navigate these deep-rooted feelings and build a life grounded in self-worth, not self-judgment.
Let’s connect—your healing journey matters.
